Safety Tips
The prospect of being on BRTR, chatting with matches, and going on first dates is thrilling! Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate, or your next significant other; maybe you’ll meet a friend with benefits, or simply a friend; maybe it’ll just be a few texts, or it might trail on for days on end.
But such activities carry certain risks, and could lead to unintended, unsafe, and potentially dangerous/harmful situations. We cannot control the actions of others, including yours, so we’ve put together some safety advice that will make your experience a little safer and more comfortable.
Sexual Health and Consent
Protect yourself. Women, you may be on the pill or have an IUD, but these don’t protect you from STIs such as herpes, HIV, and chlamydia. Even if the person ‘promises’ you they are clean, their promise remains empty words until you see proof from lab results.
Know your status. Get tested regularly, especially if you have had multiple sex partners. Some STIs symptoms do not show.
Communication and Comprehension: Respect each other's boundaries; verbal communication and comprehension is crucial. Clearly state what you are okay and not okay with doing. If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up and say no. Don’t stay silent and don’t be pressured. Make sure your partner(s) hear you loud and clear!
Consent: All sexual activity requires consent. This includes, but is not limited to, verbal comments, physical touching and/or (any type of) sex. Respect each other, do not sway uncertainty and likewise do not let others sway your uncertainty. Consent can be withdrawn ANYTIME, and if so, should be respected. Do not proceed if someone is not in the right state to provide conscious consent.
In General
Be mindful. Be careful when giving out personal information (i.e., address, SSN) that may compromise your safety should you choose not to continue pursuing another BRTR user. This also goes for giving out financial information as there may be scammers.
Be wary. Notice and report any suspicious, aggressive, and offensive behavior. If a user is violating our community guidelines and makes you feel uncomfortable, block and report the user. It’s anonymous!
Trust your instincts! Is your gut telling you there’s something off about the situation you’re in? If yes, call it off!
In Real Life
Do your homework beforehand. Make sure that your match doesn’t have any skeletons in their closet, or critical information they are not divulging. Don’t be afraid to ask questions!!
Let someone know where you are. If physically meeting someone, let trusted friends or family know where you are, who you’re meeting and check-in with them. Have your phone charged and if it makes you feel more at ease, share your location with them.
Let someone know where you are!! For the first few dates, always be in a public, busy place. If they pressure you to meet at a more private location, say NO! If they offer to pick you up or drop you off, and you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of them knowing where you live, politely decline.
Uncomfortable? Leave. If your date makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or you feel scared or vulnerable, leave ASAP. Ask the bartender or server for help if needed. Do not feel obliged to ‘finish’ the date if you resonate with the feelings above.
Be alert. Know your intake limits and make sure that you are aware of what is going on at all times.
Be cautious. Don’t leave personal items unattended and know where your drinks are coming from and is at all times; many date rape drugs are slipped into drinks.
Do not feel you ‘owe’ them. Even if they did you a service (i.e. paying for your food, buying you flowers), you do not owe them anything. Do not be coerced into doing something you’re uncomfortable with over guilt.